It Isn't Easy When You Can't Find The Words...

Hi everyone. It's been a while, I know. I'm not great at keeping a blog at the best of times, and right now I'm struggling for time in any situation other than life and work. Oh, and did I mention my Everest? No? Well, this post is mainly about that: My mountain. My struggle. My writing slump.

Writer's block is a phrase some use, but I can't get on with it myself. I prefer to call it a hiccup. Well, at least now that I'm through it I can call it that. Whatever this thing is/has been, I want to tell you about it. Writing has been a struggle for me this year. Life has been busy with one thing or another and sometimes it's been quite difficult to put the time aside. But as well as that, I've struggled to find my mojo (that's assuming I had one in the first place). I know there are quite a few of you out there who have read and enjoyed my books, so this is my personal apology to you. To all of you who are eagerly awaiting more of Michael and Lacy's story, and to continue reading the Divine Hunter series, I want to say sorry for leaving you all hanging this long. I want to invite you all to my house for tea and cake in order to soften you up while I give you a sincere explanation (and I'm only not really inviting you because you won't all fit in my house). But seriously, I'm hoping after reading this that you won't still want to throw stones or sharp objects at me and that you can maybe understand why it's taking so long for me to get Kindred Salvation to you.

Excuse No1: I have been very busy. I promise that is the truth. My husband has an unusual career which involves a lot of traveling and I'm very hands on and present in helping him wherever he goes. I drive a lot, which is frustrating sometimes because the hours I spend on the road each week are taken away from writing time. It isn't ideal, but it's our bread and butter, and I am truly thankful for my husband's success.

Excuse No1: I have been very busy. I promise that is the truth. My husband has an unusual career which involves a lot of travelling and I'm very hands on and present in helping him wherever he goes. I drive a lot, which is frustrating sometimes because the hours I spend on the road each week are taken away from writing time. It isn't ideal, but it's our bread and butter, and I am truly thankful for my husband's success.

I never thought moving house would be so stressful. Boy, was I wrong. We moved at the beginning of the year and it was extremely hard work packing up a three bedroom semi that we'd lived in for over ten years. How two people can have so much stuff is beyond me, and we did it all ourselves without a removal company. It was very stressful, but we love the house we live in now so much. It is another huge contribution to the delay in my writing.

Excuse No2: There is a new little princess in our lives and she has been a huge distraction. I can't lie about that. My niece's little girl has become our goddaughter and she's now a big part of our lives, even more than we could ever have imagined. She is just too gorgeous for words and I love her immensely.

Excuse No3 (and this is the main one): I have struggled. Soon after I'd finished release promotion for Evo I got hit pretty hard by one of the most destroying things for a writer: self doubt. It has been something I've struggled with for over a year and I can tell you, it's been a pretty stressful time; the most stressful since I became a writer. That doubt has been the main cause of the delay of Kindred Salvation and I'm really sad about that. I didn't want to put it on hold, I didn't want to hide away, but I had to try and deal with it the very best way possible. I tried writing something else for a time--getting my mind off the very thing that was stressing my brain in the hope that a change of scenery, characters, story line, would give me the kick up the backside I needed, but I soon found that the same struggle was as present with that. The words didn't come, in any shape or form, and that made me feel a whole lot worse. I went through all the perhaps-I-can't-do-this-whole-writing-thing-after-all and the-first-three-books-were-flukes-who-are-you-kidding? thoughts in my head which kept me from my main manuscript, and I honestly thought I wasn't good enough to finish what I'd started, and despite what the people closest to me told me, the struggle, the stress, was very real.

But now. . .

Now, with the support of my wonderful husband (and a bloody stern word or two in my own ear), it seems to have corrected itself. After much anguish and self loathing, I finally started to feel like I had my mojo back.

I have been writing without scrapping half of it and shutting down my laptop, which means I've stopped having to run away. And my shoulders feel much lighter. And my guilt has lessened. And I'm writing... the words are back. And the good news? Not only am I racing to the end of Kindred Salvation, but I've also been writing parts of book four.

So... I guess, as well as owing it to you tenfold, I want to say the word again: sorry. I'm sorry for keeping my readers waiting so long for Kindred Salvation. I'm sorry for mistreating my laptop by slamming the damn thing closed all too often. But mostly, I'm sorry for allowing myself to doubt that I can write--for letting myself down... for letting you down.

Please know that Kindred Salvation will have a release date very soon, and that I am working hard now to make sure it is the best it can be, and the release date for book four will follow soon after. I WILL NOT keep you waiting too long for that. I'll also have some more exciting news shortly, so do watch out for it.

Did I say sorry already? Well, one more time won't hurt.

Thank you for listening, and for (hopefully) understanding.